The internet is good for three things: shopping for things you absolutely do not need, getting into fights with cousins you haven't seen in 30 years, and losing your will to live.
And in case you haven't been able to do much of the third one lately, I'm here to shatter your overall desire to keep getting out of bed every day.
Because September 28 is "National Ask a Stupid Question Day," I thought it'd be fun (read: soul-crushing) to dig around for the worst things people have ever asked online. I just want to be here for you in case you need some inspiration before Wednesday rolls around. You're welcome.
1. "Can I tell by the smell of my husband's gas if he's been cheating?"
(via Yahoo / gwennthered)
2. "Do midgets have night vision?"
(via Yahoo / Stubers)
3. "What if the girl that thinks I'm the dad isn't the mom?"
(via Yahoo / sig_in_elko)
4. "My wife wants to eat her placenta. Is that okay if she is vegan?"
5. "Is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works?"
(via Yahoo / bmx4life)
6. "How do I take care of my pet potato?"
(via Yahoo / Julia)
7. "How do you lose weight without moving?"
(via Yahoo / Morty)
8. "I was bitten by a turtle when I was a young lad. Should I still drink orange juice?"
9. "How do you get spaghetti stains out of underwear?"
10. "How much Listerine does it take to get drunk?"
(via Yahoo / Ramona)
11. "Are skeletons real or made up?"
12. "Are there any autographs of Jesus Christ?"
13. "How can I safely look at a picture of the sun?"
14. "Do you think NASA invented thunder to cover up the sound of space battles?"
(via Yahoo / Robert)
15. "How big is the specific ocean?"
(via Yahoo / John)
16. "Do you guys think that if M.J. hadn't died, he would still be alive today?"
(via Yahoo / Luis)
17. "What happens if you paint your teeth with white nail polish?"
(via Yahoo / franchelli811)
18. "Do you think humans will ever walk on the sun?"
19. "How many calories are in a booger?"
20. "If evolution is true, then why don't pigs have wings?"
And there you have it, folks. Definitive proof that everything is terrible. Now go out there and ask a stupid question! In the meantime, this is what I'll be doing.